A Reflection: From the memory archives

A self-reflection time made way to a compelling memory & insight, that urged me to write and share after so long.

Appa loved so dearly his childhood bestie, Uncle-L, with all his heart and soul. 

Uncle-L had a long-term illness, there were no call / message responses from him for a long time.


Appa was very much concerned, so, he called up another friend in the same city, to check on Uncle-L directly and finally relieved to hear he was ok, though he fell sick often.


I remember vividly, Appa mentioned this during our deeply emotional, long last walk together:

"I don't know what's happening with his life. All I am looking for is his message that he is safe, to hear his voice, Nothing more do I wish for.

It saddens me profusely when there is no response from him, what if I am unable to hear his humorous voice with "Dei rascal" words again!"



After this conversation, in a few days time, Appa was in hospital battling for his own life.

We were trying everything we could, to lift up his spirits, to make him smile, to make him "want" to live.


So, I had sent a voice note to Uncle-L, conveying Appa's wishes and requesting him if he could send a voice note hoping Appa recovers sooner hearing his voice. 


I received back a vibrant, humorous voice note addressing Appa in uncle's own charming way, even though Uncle-L was also sick. 


Appa, who was not even able to speak, hearing uncle's voice, suddenly looked full of life, his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, searching for his loving friend.

I was speechless witnessing the ultimate power of loving relationships!


Despite all the efforts, Appa chose to depart leaving us shattered and in a few months time, Uncle-L passed away as well. 


That is one of the most grueling and painful memory, surprisingly came out of my memory archives today.

What does this memory tell me, I wonder. 





One being, wanted just communication - a simple "I am safe" response, and a feeling of a sense of belonging / importance.


While the other being, was busy battling, yet gave in all of the loving vibrance whenever came in touch. 


Each one was right in their own sense. Though they never talked in full spirits at last, probably, they are partying up there in their own way with hearty laughs.


Well, my last day, I never know when.

Yet everyday, I "wish" to choose, with my own power to balance both sides - my own self and my loved ones - to listen, to talk openly & to understand.


Do I succeed everyday, in nursing my own or others' wounds? Definitely, No. 

Still I "choose" to balance, express & evolve, and not just be right.


Love,

Soulful Gargi💫⭐

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